Why you’ll never see me use #AllLivesMatter

The hashtag #BlackLivesMatter sprang up this year as black deaths in the media brought to light the fact that racial oppression is still alive and well in our society—and in much of the subconscious programming that we get from the media and other people.

Some complained that all the concern over racial justice was overblown, and worried that the media was inciting a firestorm rather than bringing awareness. The push-back hashtag #AllLivesMatter was born. It’s typically used in scenarios where someone feels that people are blowing racial oppression out of proportion, giving it too much attention, or “playing the race card” (a phrase that has become dismissive, uncaring, and just plain mean in my eyes).

I hope everyone who knows me realizes that I believe all lives matter. I believe the lives of all races, creeds, economic groups, and beliefs matter.

So why would the statement that #AllLivesMatter set my teeth on edge? Why won’t I ever use it?

Here’s what the retort of #AllLivesMatter seems to be saying: “Your attention to the concerns of black citizens is unnecessary and misguided. We should not be looking specifically at how black people are affected. If you’re drawing attention to racial injustice against black people, then you are not giving other types of people enough attention. Racial oppression is not as bad as everyone makes it, and you’re making yourself look foolish jumping on the bandwagon to stop it.”

Look at how #AllLivesMatter is typically used and tell me that the above is not the implied message it carries.

And all of that is just patently untrue.

We have a problem in this country with oppression against black and brown individuals. When you have a problem, you address that problem specifically. When you have a problem, your failure to address things that aren’t problems doesn’t mean you don’t care about those other things; it just means you’re a human being who operates from logic and realizes that you have to give more attention to something when it’s broken.

#BlackLivesMatter is needed because, in this country, black lives are under more threat than white lives, and we need to focus on that. It’s not some attempt to be dramatic and prioritize one group over another. It’s a realization that black people are in danger of being shot down at church, tasered to death with their hands and legs cuffed, pulled over for a turn signal and found dead three days later in a jail cell, killed at 18 and then devalued as a thug who deserved what he got because of petty theft, brutalized and intimidated by those who abuse their authority.

When something is wrong, you draw attention to that thing.

When scientists tell us that wild tigers are in danger, we don’t say, “Hey, all your attention to saving tigers is unfair to pigeons; don’t talk about saving the tigers unless you also talk about saving the pigeons.”

When the weather center issues a tornado warning, we don’t say, “Hey, all your attention to this tornado in St. Louis feels unfair to Chicago, which is getting light rain right now; don’t talk about the St. Louis tornado unless you also talk about Chicago’s light drizzle.”

When one of your kids is sick, you might hear her sister complain that she’s getting all the attention today, and you think, “Yeah, no kidding; she’s sick and you’re not.”

This is the logic behind #BlackLivesMatter. Black and brown lives are, on the whole, in more danger in this country than white lives. So while it may technically be true that all lives matter, we don’t need a movement to protect all lives right now. The black ones are in trouble, so we need a movement to help raise awareness so that particular problem can change.

Racial injustice is a hard thing to look at—even for me, which you might not realize given the easy tone with which I’ve talked about it on this blog. But it is a tough subject, my friends, and it makes me uncomfortable more than it makes me self-righteous. And the problem with #AllLivesMatter is that people use it as a hiding place to avoid the uncomfortable work of learning about racial justice. That hash tag carries an implicit denial of the fact that racial injustice is happening, because it tells people that black lives don’t warrant the kind of attention they’re getting.

That’s why I don’t use #AllLivesMatter, and why I feel something inside me tighten every time I see it on social media. It’s a denial of the work that we’re supposed to be doing as white people.

It also (ironically) demonstrates the racial oppression it claims to deconstruct. It’s a way of saying, “Social movements should not be catered specifically to black people. If something focuses specifically on black people, we should stop it and turn it into something that includes white people.” That’s white privilege. I’ll go ahead and make a stronger statement: that’s racism. That’s a way of saying that no matter what happens, blackness is never allowed to be tended to and whiteness must always be treated with preference.

It’s the same motivation that drives us to deny racial oppression, that keeps us from looking too hard at it, because it might ask us, as white people, to give up a privilege that runs so deep we can’t imagine life without it.

But that’s what we have to do.

I’m sorry if that upsets you. Well, actually, I’m not. White people have lived off the benefits of upsetting non-white people for a very long time, and we can afford to take our turn being upset. Considering that we are not imprisoned at a ridiculously high rate, are not likely to be murdered for our race in church, are not likely to be accused of “deserving” death at the hands of policemen, are not in more danger of being pulled over, do not have to give our kids “the talk” about how to survive encounters with law enforcement, and see ourselves widely and positively represented in virtually every media outlet, I think we can afford to be a little inconvenienced by hash tags that aren’t all about us.

So please, just drop #AllLivesMatter. Think about what it’s really saying—not the pretty justifications people give it, but the way it’s really being used in everyday scenarios and the message it implies. Ask yourself if you really want to be associated with that message: the message that attention to racial oppression isn’t needed and shouldn’t be pursued because it might cost white people a little something.